Mr Dull

Location: Coffee shop
Length of date: 40 minutes
Number of drinks: ½
Compatibility rating: 2/10

A few years ago two friends and I decided to give online dating a go (my first foray into this ‘relatively new and exciting at the time’ world). We settled on a site that let us write each other’s profiles, so as to spare some of the cringe worthy ‘selling’ of ourselves. My first message was from a guy called Adrian who was a 27 year old lawyer in the city (oooo…that sounds exciting! Maybe we’ll have conversations into the night around criminal trials he is working on and as he is so clever and successful, long discussions over current affairs, our pasts and hopes and dreams).
I arranged to meet him in a neighbouring town one Sunday afternoon. First impressions were good and I was almost excited to sit down somewhere and get chatting. He chose a chain coffee chop and we ordered our drinks and went to get settled. Now, I don’t know if you can tell, but I am a fan of talking (I do it, A LOT!) so I find it relatively easy to keep a conversation flowing. This occasion, however, proved to be the one and only time that I failed. Adrian just could not sustain a dialogue! I get that nerves play a part in a first date, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while and really tried…‘So Adrian, what is it exactly you do?’ ‘Um, it’s really quite boring, you don’t want to know’ (no please, really I do!) ‘go on, I’d love to know’….’well, I practice Corporate law’…. (ah, so there goes my fantasy of conversations about fascinating criminal trials…Corporate law is LITERALLY the most boring type you can practice). Okaaay…..so this is excruciating but I persevere….’Tell me about what you enjoy doing (open questions, remember to always use open questions)....’I don’t really get time to do anything’ came the answer. Well by this point I was bored beyond words and truly embarrassed as to the progress of this date. He must have completely felt it to, so I thought the most honourable thing to do was to lie about ‘tons of work’ and get the hell out of there.

I got home and mentally crossed him off the list, not bothering to make contact as I figured he got the same vibe as me and would chalk our date up to experience and move onto the next. Clearly I must have made an impression (or he was just completely deluded) as I got a text from him shortly afterwards saying it seemed both of us enjoyed ourselves and that he’ love to meet up again…….I am sorry to admit that I pressed the delete button without replying.