Mr Fake

                                                 

Location: The City

Duration: Overnight

Drinks: 5 double vodkas, 2 mojitos, 2 glasses of rosé (on an empty stomach)

Compatibility: 7

I am still seething about this 'date'..... I'm hoping Karma visits this guy sooner rather than later. 

About 4 weeks ago me and friend were introduced to Tinder. A superficial dating app that allows you to see eligible (I use this term very loosely...) men in your location and if you both 'like' each other a messaging option appears. My friend met a guy on here that she was messaging for about 3 weeks before they agreed to meet....to cut a long story short, Oz stood her up the first time (and when SHE contacted him, made some lame excuse about a relative being in hospital). She quite liked him so agonised for days over whether to contact him (I'm very much of the theory if a guy wants to speak to you, he will). Eventually she did and they arranged to meet that week. During this time,I had seen a picture of his mate and he of me and somehow it ended up that we were both joining as wingmen to make it a double date. 

I tend to go for the older guy, so when my friend told me this one was 26 I was a little sceptical but thought 'what's the harm'?! (I wish my future self could have screamed 'Don't do it!!!'- hindsight is a wonderful thing eh?!). Both of us made our way to a bar in Liverpool Street and started to drink ourselves into oblivion. At 7.30 (the time Oz was meant to be meeting her) he called to say he would be late...she got a similar call or text 3 more times until a call at 9.30 telling us to meet them where they were (excuse me?!) So convinced was I that she was as appalled as I was, I'd already started walking off to the bar to get us another drink, till I hear 'sure we'll be there soon' (sorry, what?!) I agreed on the premiss that I was there as support.....so, fast forward through the evening. They were both actually really funny and we ended up having a good night and both of us got some cheeky kisses throughout the evening with 'Joe' being very tactile.  However, I didn't have any intention of seeing 'Joe' again but my friend really liked Oz so the next day was eagerly awaiting contact. In the meantime however she did a little FB stalking (come on, who doesn't indulge every so often?!)......it turns out 'Joe' was Oz's little cousin called Liam who is happily attached to his hairdresser girlfriend. Someone really needs to let this girl know what her boyf gets up to with his cousin on Friday nights. I think I really need a blow dry at a certain salon in Essex........

Mr Keeno II

                                    

Location: Virtual

Duration: 9 Days

Drinks: 0

Compatibility: 8

I met Mark on a dating website again. We started a conversation via Whatsapp and I was upgraded (his word!) to iMessage....(gee thanks!) It was such a fast moving and intense conversation that I really should have clocked on that this guy was needy. Actually the conversation was really good....he was full of witty banter and we had a lot in common (OMG, finally a promising match!) As neither of us were free until the next week, we agreed to meet the following Thursday. We were both away the weekend before (separately I might add!) and I had text to let him him know that there was no reception where I was and that I would speak to him when I was back (considering we had been chatting for a mere 4 days prior to this, I thought this was just a courteous thing to do...no biggie right?) On the way home I received 13, yes 13, messages from him!! Ranging from, 'I hope you are having a lovely time' (sweet) to 'I miss you' (er, what?) and finally 'You'd love it here with my brother and his Mrs, can't wait to bring you here' (shut the front door mate, how do you even know what I'd like, you haven't met me yet!) naturally I was slightly worried by this. However, as I have previously mentioned, my bak catalogue of men are full of unsavoury w*nkers so thought I would at least give this guy a chance....whilst cringing I carried on the convo.....however, come Tuesday when he invited me out to his best mates birthday drinks stating 'It would be a good opportunity to meet everyone' (let me just remind you.... I HAVEN'T EVEN MET YOU YET LOVE!!!) I decided then at that point there wasn't a chance of a date let alone a future. I was a little scared that during our first date he may have also invited someone along to join us in holy matrimony.....

Bad Boys vs Nice Guys

A regular debate I have with my friends (married/attached/dating/single ) is around the love of a bad boy. I am guilty of my back catalogue of men containing 90% complete players. I am all about a passionate relationship, but someone very wise once said to me that 'with the highs come the lows'...so in order to experience that euphoric feeling of a passionate relationship you have to be prepared to also tolerate the downs of the emotional roller coaster. But some women don't look for this passion (the majority are the ones who currently settled with 2.4 children)...... They are content with their lot....A steady man who treats them nicely but doesn't rock their world. Is this settling? Or is this called growing up and realising that after the lust and passion leaves the relationship, all you are left with are the 'downs'.....? Is it then better to look for that man who doesn't give you excitement and passion, but also doesn't hurt you on purpose? The jury's still out.......