Mr Catfish

Location: Chain Bar
Duration: 55 minutes
Drinks: 2
Compatibility: 2/10

I don’t know if any of you have seen the American programme Catfish? Where unsuspecting individuals are in contact with someone online who they think is one thing, but actually turn out to be the complete opposite (Take one episode where an attractive lady had been messaging a fit college male football player for 1 year – they finally meet and it turns out that she has been sexting a 16 year old woman…#true) Date number 3 from the online world could have been on this programme…..

His profile had him at 5’8 (ok, shorter than I would normally go for, but why not) with an athletic figure; the black and white arty shot showing a man who was chiselled and quite cute. We met in central London after work one evening in the Summer. I was wearing sensible work heels  - around 3 inches (this is relevant later) which put me at around 5’3” tall (I’m a short@rse I know!)….I was standing on the steps of the Royal Exchange waiting for Neil, absentmindedly playing with my phone. Around 5 minutes after I happened to look up and see a short, ginger man with severe blonde highlights sporting ankle swinging trousers and Chelsea boots heading in my direction. I looked back down at the phone, clearly this man was walking towards someone standing behind me……oh no he wasn’t. ‘Hi I’m Neil’….oh dear god, is this for real?  As Neil came to stand next to me, it became apparent that whilst wearing my heels, I was taller than him…..I couldn’t just leave so I had to actually go through with this date. We walked off to the nearest bar looking like 2 oompa loompas searching for Willy Wonka. Not only was there a complete disconnect between how he had described himself and reality – he was also a mean person (I put it down to little man syndrome).
Moral of the story – don’t go for guys with just 1 profile picture…especially if that one picture is in black and white.